Stoddard Stuff

Brad and I are taking a marriage class through Keri Maughan on Thursday nights. It's called Enriching Marriage Through Commitment, Connection and Communication. She teaches Love and Logic parenting classes that I've heard great things about so we thought taking this marriage class might be fun. We've only been to one class so far but we totally enjoyed it and learned a lot.

I love her suggestions on "committing to connect":

• We should "fix our partner in our hearts and minds" four crucial times of the day including when we wake up, before we leave, when we come home, and before we go to bed. We do this by saying things to them like "You are so important to me..." OR "I really love the way you..."
• We need to give our partner a full body hug six times a day for a full six seconds. (Go ahead and kiss for at least six seconds too!)
• It's important to hold positive thoughts about our spouse and our relationship by taking 10 seconds to think positive thoughts about our partner. We should do this as often as we can during the day and maybe even take time to write down a few of the good things we think of.
• She also suggests making a contract to "hand out love with generosity and compassion". "This is how I will show my love for you every day...." or statements like "I hereby agree to...." (speak in a kind voice, hear you out before I respond, kiss you more often, ask about your day, put my arm around you at church, remember to take the trash out, etc.)
• Find true happiness in our partner's happiness and promote more of what brings him joy.

Some of her suggestions seem like they should be no-brainers in a marriage but I think we all get lazy and take our partners for granted.

She sent us home with "homework" that we did yesterday afternoon. It's a game where you ask each other questions to see how well you know each other. We spent a good hour or so laughing and talking on the couch on a Friday afternoon! I thought about all of you and wanted you to enjoy as well. Take these with you to play on your dinner date this week! Here are some of the interesting questions:

• Who is my favorite relative?
• What makes me feel most competent?
• What personal improvements do I want to make in my life?
• What was one of my best childhood experiences?
• Who is my greatest source of support (other than you)?
• What is one of my favorite weekend activities?
• What is my favorite movie?
• Who was my best friend in childhood?
• Name one of my hobbies?
• What stresses am I facing right now?
• What kinds of books do I like to read?
• What am I most sad about?
• What medical problems do I worry about?
• Name two of the people I admire most?
• Of all the people we both know, who do I like the least?
• What is my social security number?
• What are two of my aspirations, hopes and wishes?
• What is my favorite meal?
• What was my favorite vacation?
• What is one of my favorite magazines?

I want to know if any of your husbands actually know your social security number or the name of your best childhood friend! I have to tell you that Brad did pretty well execpt for those two.