5.12.2009

I haven't felt like posting

but that doesn't mean that I haven't been blog hopping.  I found the following on this random blog  It's one of the funniest things I've read lately.  I dont know the author and yet, I know her all too well...
to myself, on mother's day

Dear Me,

Happy stinking Mother's Day.

You thought being a mother would be so great, didn't you? That your kids would be plump cheeked and easy to please? That you would be able to handle each precious child with happiness and ease?

You were wrong.

Motherhood is kicking your butt, and you know it.

Like yesterday when Opie was about to poop in his pull up -
again- so he was rushed to the toilet just in time to smear poop over multiple surfaces? Remember that? Remember screaming, "WIPE YOUR BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!" repeatedly until you had to give yourself a time out? Yeah, that wasn't fabulous at all.

And remember on wednesday, the 572nd time Monkey came to you crying, "Owie owie owie owie owie owie owie!!!" and you didn't even look at him and just muttered, "You're fine, stop crying." Remember? That wasn't very nurturing, was it? How damaging is that to his little psyche?

And do you recall when you found out you were pregnant with your fourth child and you wanted to smash something and scream out in angst? But instead you remained in denial all through those torturous months of bedrest until your actual child was laying in your actual arms? Don't they say that a mother's attitude can affect a child in the womb? Way to go, Number Four is probably going to need lots of future therapy.

So go ahead and go to church and hear about how mothers are amazing, and listen to all the perfect examples of selfless, level headed parenting that is going to be mentioned in all the talks and lessons. Then hang up those little finger print molds and wear your macaroni necklace with pride. Because this whole Mom thing is much harder than you expected, but maybe if you put on a good enough show you can even convince yourself that you're doing a good job.

But in the meantime, maybe you should pull out that candy bar they handed out after Sacrament Meeting. Because chocolate might be the only thing that gets you through the next couple decades of child rearing.

Sincerely,
Me

13 comments:

Larry and Heather said...

That is awesome. I have so many days when I feel exactly like that. Can I steal it and put it on my blog?

Melissa Bastow said...

Sweet, I've never been quoted before! I'm totally flattered.

Raysha said...

Wow! I'm sure many of us feel that way a lot of the time. I only wish that I had that chocolate bar that she got........carnations just don't cut it for those pregnant women who are in denial until the baby is actually in their arms.

Jamie said...

That was hilarious! That explains why I'm addicted to chocolate.

M. G. said...

I was in that club for a long time and am happy to say that I am not anymore. They do grow up and you do realize that you have been doing a great job in spite of the lack of evidence. Hang in there. The proof is in the pudding, and someday it won't be smeared on something white!

lisa said...

That is funny! Happy Birthday Jillie!

melmck said...

that is hilarious.

Kristal said...

My freaking favorite post in a long time! Glad I'm not alone in being defeated by motherhood!

Anonymous said...

My fiance bought the Iphone & totally regrets it. He can't get any reception at all & has to forward his cell to our home phone now. He's tried downloading stuff that was recommended & nothing is working. Plus, it's complicated & time consuming. Anyone else have this problem?
[url=http://forexrobot-review.info]best forex software[/url] [url=http://music-video-code.friendsterforum.com/index.php?song=3025]unlock iphone[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.kfarbair.com][img]http://www.kfarbair.com/_images/_photos/photo_big7.jpg[/img][/url]

בית מלון [url=http://www.kfarbair.com]כפר בעיר[/url] - אינטימיות, [url=http://kfarbair.com/services.html]שקט[/url] . אנחנו מספקים שירותי אירוח מגוונים גם יש במקום שירות חדרים המכיל [url=http://www.kfarbair.com/eng/index.html]אחרוחות רומנטיות[/url] במחירים מיוחדים אשר יוגשו ישירות לחדרכם...

לפרטים נוספים נא גשו לאתר האינטרנט שלנו - [url=http://kfarbair.com]כפר בעיר[/url] [url=http://www.kfarbair.com/contact.html][img]http://www.kfarbair.com/_images/apixel.gif[/img][/url]

Anonymous said...

Infatuation casinos? research this advanced [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com]casino[/url] advisor and take up online casino games like slots, blackjack, roulette, baccarat and more at www.realcazinoz.com .
you can also check our up to date [url=http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com]casino[/url] poor guidance at http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com and conquer real folding shin-plasters !
another chic [url=http://www.ttittancasino.com]casino spiele[/url] position is www.ttittancasino.com , rather than of german gamblers, come past unrestrained online casino bonus.

Anonymous said...

on the other side of 21 and essential some grown-up toys? down malign to [url=http://www.avi.vg]sex toys [/url] online, limitless rate of full-grown toys like [url=http://www.avi.vg/category.php?a=coition4sexx&cid=3]vibrators [/url] and [url=http://www.avi.vg/category.php?a=blooming to bed4sexx&cid=30]dildos [/url]at www.avi.vg , be related to attached to means of the pick, another undefined instal to buy [url=http://www.ewgpresents.com]viagra online[/url] is the all up to tryst http://www.ewgpresents.com and the prime ed rx [url=http://www.rxpillsmd.net]online viagra[/url] drugstore www.rxpillsmd.net , and the prime generic [url=http://www.generic4you.com]viagra[/url] apothecary at www.generic4you.com or at www.generik4u.com the [url=http://www.generik4u.com]sildenafil citrate[/url] shop.

Anonymous said...

Hi www.blogger.com folks.

Are you looking to get your Website [b]Indexed on top of Google[/b] search engine? Maybe you are looking to get more traffic? We have the perfect deal for you! We offer you an exclusive chance to experiance the knowledge of our [b][url=http://xrumer-blast.com/marketplace/xrumer-products/]Xrumer Services[/url][/b]. [url=http://www.xrumer-blast.com][img]http://xrumer-blast.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif[/img][/url]

It is NOT trash! This is a human created post specifically created to demonstrate the power of our automated software and its potential of reaching wide variety of audience in an effective and time saving manner.

We are a group of veteran [b][url=http://xrumer-blast.com/about-xrumer-blast-com/]Internet Marketers[/url][/b] and [b]Search Engine Optimization Experts[/b] that provide [b]Affordable, High Quality, [url=http://xrumer-blast.com/marketplace/seo-products/]SEO Service[/url][/b]. Post your message on thousands of forums, message boards, blogs and journals and gain organic traffic in a matter of days! With the help of our [b][url=http://xrumerblast.livejournal.com/]Search Engine Optimization Experts[/url][/b] your [b]Blog URL[/b] can appear on [b]2487[/b] forums and journals. Receive almost instant growth of SERPS, Get thousands of quality backlinks directly to your Site without lifting a finger!

Our goal is simple; we want to make you and your website on the top of every search engine so you and your family can enjoy the comfort of steady, automatic income without leaving your home. Trough our [b][url=http://xrumer-blast.com/contact-xrumer-blast-com/]SEO Expert Advice[/url][/b] you will get one of the best support seen in the industry. As part of our [b]Search Engine Optimization Services[/b], we take care of everything for you, from Optimizing your Website for search engines all through ranking your Bussiness on the first page of your MSN.

For more information regarding [b]Search Engine Optimiztion[/b] and [b]Xrumer Blast Services[/b] check out [b][url=http://xrumerservice2010.wordpress.com/]Xrumer Blast[/url][/b]. Our site includes everything you need to order your first [b]Xrumer Blast[/b], you can create the most appropriate message (Project) to suit your Bussiness, send us the information and after the payment clearance we will start working immediatly!

[url=http://xrumer-blast.com/marketplace/][img]http://xrumer-blast.com/wp-content/uploads/Xrumer-Blast-Logo.png[/img][/url]